Desi Local Mumbai Aunties

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Deepika Padukone, Goddess of Sexiness

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The Ten Worst Films of Akshay Kumar (excludes Desi Boyz!!)

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A scene from Desi Boyz
Two decades and I00 movies is not an everyday statistic. Without doubt, Akshay Kumar is one of Bollywood's most prolific stars.

Except that one cannot judge quality with quantity. And so it's quite a shame that a greater part of his career is build around shoddy, unwatchable films. The man's latest attempt to tickle, Desi Boyz co-starring John Abraham, in which the twain portray recession-struck strippers, has opened to unkind reviews and unremarkable ticket sales.  

Can't say we are surprised. Considering his ever-growing list of disasters, it's been a while since the star gave us something to applaud.

Here are ten of his most appalling offerings.

Dancer

A scene from Dancer
What's more implausible than a hoarse Akshay Kumar lip-syncing to S P Balasubramanium's velvet smooth voice? Akshay's laughable attempt to pull off a Mithun Chakraborty meets Rishi Kapoor in tacky costumes, bushy eyebrows and compulsive pelvic thrusting. 

One of his early on embarrassments, Dancer is a torturous example of what a good haircut can actually do. 

Mr Bond

A scene from Mr Bond
There's nothing remotely shaking or stirring about this B-movie, stuffed with a voluptuous line-up of unsexy sirens who serve the sole purpose of throwing themselves at a critically hairy Akshay.
 
As if on cue to compete, baddie Pankaj Dheer sports an overzealous version of Raza Murad's Sir John getup courtesy an overtly fluffy white beard, moustache and eyebrows.

And if you can get past this war of fuzz, you'll be rewarded with a part where the screen reads, 'The End.'

Maidan E Jung

A scene from Maidan E Jung
K C Bokadia and inanity go hand in hand but Maidan-E-Jung takes it to an altogether new level with its absurd story, awful performances and sleepy direction.

Here's the deal: A 60-something Dharmendra plays brother to a barely 20, Karisma Kapoor. And in between his struggle to win Jaya Pradha's heart, there's a lehenga-choli clad Shakti Kapoor stomping about in mustard fields with Kader Khan.
 
As for Akshay, he's a part of this Maidan-e-Baloney only to demonstrate two of his best-acknowledged skills -- dance and fight.

Aflatoon

A scene from Aflatoon
No amount of trendy clothes and spunky choreography can salvage Aflatoon, which aims to please on the strength of Akshay Kumar's hamming and Urmila Matondkar's pout.  

It's bad enough to tolerate him overact as the diffident Akshay but the proverbial 'kahani mein twist' leading to Akshay No 2 results in one of the worst performances by an actor in a negative role.

Khiladi 420

A scene from Khiladi 420
Cashing on the Khiladi success, Akshay Kumar starred in yet another with a title that says it all. This rip off of a film that parades as a romance turned thriller turned action caper neither excites nor entertains.

What it does is grate your poor nerves with Akshay's woeful delivery in a double role that reeks of idiocy.

Haan Maine Bhi Pyaar Kiya

A scene from Haan Maine Bhi Pyaar Kiya
Dharmesh Darshan's snooze-inspiring rehash of Ek Hi Bhool is so outdated and boring; it's a miracle how its stars managed to stay up through the entire script narration.

The audience wasn't so kind. Yawns and empty halls welcome this bland love triangle starring Akshay Kumar in a kind of role Sanjay Khan would do justice to in the 1960s.

Jaani Dushman: Ek Anokhi Prem Kahani

A scene from Jaani Dushman: Ek Anokhi Prem Kahani
Kudos to everyone who sat through this film or even its trailer.

There's silly. There's outrageous. And then there's a whole new brand of corniness. That's where you'll find Jaani Dushman, an utterly asinine fantasy about an avenging snake in an all-new reincarnated VFX avatar.
 
With its star-studded cast ranging from Sunny Deol to Akshay Kumar, this supernatural joke has Bollywood's muscle men mouthing such moronic lines; it must have taken more than a few good films to recover.

Chandni Chowk To China

A scene from Chandni Chowk To China
Everybody expected Chandni Chowk to China to be a rip-roaring success. It came out at a time when Akshay's career had hit its peak with back-to-back blockbusters.

Only this confused dramedy was exaggerated on so many levels, it failed to lure critics or viewers. No one found anything amusing about Akki's over-the-top buffoonery or heightened sentimentality in Nikhil Advani's contrived Hindi-Chini skirmish.

Tees Maar Khan

A scene from Tees Maar Khan
Distasteful humour, screaming actors, dreadful acting, pompous attitude, lengthy duration, Tees Maar Khan is guilty on so many counts; it's hard to believe Farah Khan directed this farce.

Not even Katrina Kaif's scorching shimmy in Sheila ki jawani or Akshay's desperate efforts to make light can infuse some zing in this gaudy show of hare-brained logic and flimsy wit.

Thank You

A scene from Thank You
In the last five years, Akshay Kumar has exhausted his oeuvre of comedy by repeating his shtick over and over again. And just when you thought it cannot get any worse, there comes Thank You and the man hits rock bottom.

Many other duds like Action Replayy, Kambakth Ishq, Blue, 8x10 Tasveer, Zulmi, Barood, Kayda Kanoon, International Khiladi, Daava, Police Officer, Family: Ties of Blood, Deewane Hue Pagal, Andaaz, Lahoo Ke Do Rang, Tu Chor Main Sipahi, Zaalim, Taraazu, Insaaf, Bewafaa, Housefull, Daava, Nazar Ke Saamne, Ikke Pe Ikka, Ashant and Sapoot deserve a honourary mention for underlining an otherwise capable actor's rotten skills at choosing projects and inability to learn from past mistakes.

For now, let's hope Rowdy Rathore will compel us to change our mind.

Kangana Inked Deepika's Way?

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Monday, November 28, 2011

Deepika's seeing someone else: Ranbir Kapoor

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Is it tough for ex-es to work together? Ranbir doesn't think so. The former couple are signed on to do Ayan's Mukerji's Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani.

He told Filmfare in an interview, "Deepika and I came in for a lot of negativity because of the way our relationship ended. But our duty as individual actors is to get rid of the baggage and make the greatest love story of this generation. I think Deepika suits this character in Ayan's film better than anyone else. I hope people forget our history and love only our characters on screen. There won't be any discomfort."

He added, "She's seeing someone else. There's no sense of bitterness. We lived that life, I'm grateful for that experience. We were not destined to be. Maybe we will share a great friendship which we didn't when we were seeing each other. As people we were not compatible. There's no question of rekindling passions."

And, is he seeing Nargis? Apparently not. He says, "I'm extremely and deeply fond of her. She's a wild child, spiritual, bohemian and well-travelled. She's lovely. Sometimes she's a child, sometimes she's all grown up. I'm not in love with her or in a relationship with her."

Deepika- oozing sexiness

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Sunday, November 27, 2011

Deepika: I was very keen on being an actor

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Deepika Padukone talks to Mirror readers, twins Preeti and Rati Parwani, about her foray into films, highs and lows and her bond with badminton

In the middle of a whirlwind promotion tour of her much-hyped, Desi Boyz, we catch the leggy actress Deepika Padukone for a quick tete-a-tete with her ardent fans, Pune-based twins Preeti and Rati Parwani. Hard to tell that they are even related, the two came buzzing with excitement, looking forward to meeting their favourite actress. "She's so pretty, we've seen all her films," gushed 21-year-old Preeti. After a substantial wait, Deepika welcomed us into a small meeting room in an entertainment channel's office where she was busy giving interviews.

Dressed in a fitted sequined cocktail dress, high heels and hair and make-up to boot, in the middle of the afternoon, seemed a little disorienting but did justice to her toned figure. Greeting us with a warm smile, she towered above everyone.

The star-struck twins started, "You look beautiful. How crazy has the promotion schedule been like?" With a smile and an exasperated expression said, "It's absolutely manic. Yesterday we started our day in Chandigarh, took a charter plane to Ludhiana, made it to Amritsar by road before finally heading home.

I optimistically called my trainer and told her I'll come in at 9 am. But I barely made it out of bed. Sometimes it's relaxed, but sometimes many things need to be packed in into a month or two."

"Which films did you really enjoy?" Deepika asked. "OSO and Break Ke Baad was our favourite," they said almost in unison. The girls wanted to know how she felt debuting with Shah Rukh. "I was stunned. I first met Farah while she was rehearsing for a song. She said, 'Lets see how you do. The lead actor is SRK.' She had only seen me in a Himesh (Reshamiya) video before then. At the time Shah Rukh was working on Chak de!, so I had a year to prepare.

Once I knew it was him, I didn't want any other role, so I really worked hard. I took Kathak classes, worked out. I remember the first time I met him, Farah took me to his house, and now things have changed, but back then, everything was white. White sofa, curtains... and I in total Yash Chopra style, wore a white chicken suit with a chiffon dupatta, and tried to camouflage myself. I pretended to be really cool, so I started flipping a book, but I was freaking out.

I sat stiff as a board," she said, laughing. Rati asked her how she felt being called the hottest girl on earth. Deepika replied nonchalantly, "It's nice to hear that but I'm not very conscious about it."

"How and why did you switch from being a sportswoman to an actor?" asked Preeti. "I was very keen on being an actor. If I saw Madhuri dance around in Switzerland, I liked to believe I could do it too. I wasn't fanatic about it; I wouldn't practise in front of a mirror. So when the opportunity presented itself, I took it. But I'm very attached to sports.

I grew up going for practice everyday at 5 am, for four hours a day. Now that I feel like I have some influence, I like to support sports as much as possible," she said. As they wrapped up, Rati asked, "Would you head to Hollywood?" Deepika replied, "I would like to, but offers here are so good that they really need to match up."

Red Hot Golden Girl

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Deepika disappointed at no 7 rank in sexiest woman in Asia 2011


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Bollywood actress Kareena Kapoor has emerged as the sexiest woman in Asia, according to a survey.

Eastern Eye, a weekly, conducted a survey through social networking sites like Twitter and Kareena came out on top, edging out last year's winnerKatrina Kaif.


1. Kareena Kapoor

Kareena Kapoor

Kareena, who recently gave hits like Bodyguard and Ra.One, won by one per cent of votes, the narrowest ever margin and beat off tough competition from some of the most stunning women from around the world.

2. Katrina Kaif

Katrina Kaif
Katrina Kaif, who had won the title for the last three years by a large margin, slipped into second place.

Eastern Eye showbiz editor Asjad Nazir said, "This battle between the two beauties is a sign of things to come in Bollywood in the next few years. Although the list contained pop stars, TV personalities, models and film stars from around the world, the voting quite comprehensively showed that Kareena and Katrina have put a distance between themselves and the rest of the contenders in terms of popularity."

3. Priyanka Chopra

Priyanka Chopra
Priyanka Chopra, whose upcoming movies Don 2 and Barfee are creating quite a buzz, was placed on the third spot.

4. Bipasha Basu

Bipasha Basu
Widely acknowledged as one of the hottest bods in Bollywood for the longest time, Bipasha Basu slipped one slot down to number four this year.

The actress has a lot to look forward to as she gears up for two releases -- Players and Jodi Breakers.

5. Freida Pinto

Freida Pinto
Hollywood's exotic sweetheart Freida Pinto has clocked in success with Rise Of The Plaet Of The Apes and Immortals this year.

The actress has become quite adept at making headlines, be it on the red carpet or on the 70 mm.

6. Aishwarya Rai Bachchan

Aishwarya Rai Bachchan
New mommy Aishwarya Rai Bachchan may have traded films for motherhood for a while but that doesn't mean she'll recede in the background.

Despite the fact that her last release was Guzaarish that came out last year, the actress has made it to top ten!

7. Deepika Padukone

Deepika Padukone
It's not just us who drool over Deepika Padukone's goddess-like figure and endless legs. Turns out, the actress is feted by the whole of Asia.

The 25-year-old actress figures at number seven on the list.

9. Sonam Kapoor

Sonam Kapoor
Sonam Kapoor may have met with little success in films so far -- her last film Mausam sank without a trace -- but her fashion choices have made sure she's a part of all filmi buzz.
We are not surprised to see the young actress at number nine in this list.

12. Jacqueline Fernandez

Jacqueline Fernandez
Murder 2 actress Jacqueline Fernandez's smouldering act in the film gained her quite a fan following that seems to be increasing exponentially!

The Sri Lankan beauty claimed the 12th spot on the sexiest Asian women's list.

15. Lara Dutta

Lara Dutta
Mum-to-be Lara Dutta figures at number 15 on the list.

16. Sussanne Roshan

Sussanne Roshan
Star wife Sussanne Roshan is so fit even after having two kids, she could give any starlet a run for her money.

She's the only non-actress to figure on this list too. How's that for an achievement?

19. Malaika Arora Khan

Malaika Arora Khan
The hottest mum on the Bollywood block, Malaika Arora Khan has made it to the list too.

Munni may be a thing of the past now but Malaika is sure to have more aces up her sleeve.

23. Nargis Fakhri

Nargis Fakhri
Bollywood's latest import Nargis Fakhri may just turn out to be the next Katrina Kaif.

With a successful film debut (Rockstar) and a reported Rs 9 crore worth of endorsement offers, this babe is set for a meteoric rise in filmdom.

38. Sonakshi Sinha

Sonakshi Sinha
After collecting accolades for her village belle turn in DabanggSonakshi Sinha is really biding her time for the perfect follow up to her smashing debut.
While we wait for her next cinematic outing, the actress has been placed at number 38 in the list.
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